Monday, April 26, 2010

LolaRuns and how the blog came down

When LolaRuns and BoyGenius agreed to date exclusively, did LolaRuns come clean to BoyGenius and reveal her online dating blog?

No dear readers – she did not. LolaRuns made the executive decision to keep that part of LolaRuns’ life private. Afterall, LolaRuns was convinced that her readership was limited to her sister Miss E and her male confidantes Mr. M, Mr. C, and Mr. J.

But in the last month of LolaRuns’ relationship with BoyGenius, the subject of blogging came up in conversation and LolaRuns decided to share the subject of her blog. BoyGenius mentioned that he too kept up a blog but the subject matter happened to be common day observations. LolaRuns did not feel particularly curious about BoyGenius’ blog and did not bother to ask for the web address. BoyGenius had the opposite reaction about LolaRuns’ blog and wanted to read it. For reasons unknown to her, the idea of BoyGenius reading her thoughts about other suitors did not sit well with her so LolaRuns compromised. She excerpted the two entries about BoyGenius, substituted the first person for every instance of “LolaRuns” and emailed it off to her sweetheart.

The reaction that LolaRuns received from BoyGenius was not what she expected. Initially, BoyGenius expressed appreciation that the excerpts were shared and remarked at the sweet nature of the entries. The appreciation turned quickly into suspicion – why did LolaRuns not want to share the entire blog with BoyGenius? Was LolaRuns trying to hide something from BoyGenius? No, nothing to hide LolaRuns replied! LolaRuns just wasn’t ready to share that part of her self and her dating strategy. But it’s a blog and by that very nature – other people – strangers are reading it and I can’t ?!- BoyGenius fumed.

The next day, when LolaRuns left for work, BoyGenius did a handful of searches and promptly texted LolaRuns. His text, “You are LolaRuns. I found your blog but I didn’t read any of it – just the two BoyGenius entries to see if you had changed them”, made LolaRuns panic. Then BoyGenius responded with the link to his own blog.

LolaRuns quickly went to her blog site and deleted all of her precious entries (which were conveniently and already backed up). But she wondered if BoyGenius read her blog. Wouldn’t anyone read the entries after going through the trouble and hassle of finding a blog? But BoyGenius responded that he thought of it as a puzzle challenge and that had he not informed LolaRuns that he found her blog, she never would have known. How true LolaRuns thought. But the fact that BoyGenius searched and found the blog even though LolaRuns made it clear that she did not want to share the blog irked her.

LolaRuns and BoyGenius never really worked through the blog issues – in particular LolaRuns’ unwillingness to share and BoyGenius’ suspicion and disregard for LolaRuns’ privacy.

Ultimately, LolaRuns concluded it was not worth ruining a weekend nor was it a reason to end a relationship.

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