Sunday, May 2, 2010

LolaRuns’ and her second weekend without BoyGenius

LolaRuns had a spectacular weekend with her girlfriends! On Friday night, April 30, 2010, LolaRuns and her girl friends Miss T, Miss A, and Miss AS, all met at Miss AS’s house near Restaurant Nora on Florida Avenue. From there, LolaRuns and friends walked to Raku, a scrumptious Asian diner in Dupont Circle where we feasted on edamame, yellowtail and avocado rolls, sashimi, sushi, noodle dishes, and downed Raku cooler cocktails and wine. Over dinner, we celebrated Miss T’s imminent move to the West Coast and Miss AS’s preparation to join Afterwards, we cabbed it over to the Tony & Joe’s waterfront to hop on our good friend Mr. N and Mr. M’s boat – the Miss Guided. On Miss Guided, we enjoyed vodka sodas and mingled with the boating crowd. It wasn’t until close to 2am when LolaRuns returned home to her South Riding, VA residence and she was exhausted!

The next morning, Saturday, May 1, 2010, LolaRuns had truly ambitious plans. She was going to a spin class and then to run errands before getting ready for a wonderful cocktail party at the Marwood estate in Potomac, Maryland to celebrate the wonderful union of two dear friends. But because LolaRuns was so exhausted, she didn’t wake up until close to 10am and missed spin class. LolaRuns felt very sick as well and spent the rest of the morning in bed, reading her book, and sleeping. Finally at 5pm, she dragged herself out of bed to dress for the cocktail party.

LolaRuns arrived at the Marwood estate in Potomac, Maryland at 7:45pm and the party was already in full swing. Dressed in a delicate pale pink gauzy sleeveless cocktail dress with feathers at the shoulders, a flowing multi layered hemline, a bejeweled v neckline with a braided sash tied loosely at the fitted waist, open toed silver shoes, and diamond barrettes festooned in her hair, LolaRuns looked and felt like Charlotte York. Once she arrived at Marwood estate and greeted the generous hosts and the two dear friends who were the guests of honor, LolaRuns mingled amongst friends and colleagues for the entire night. She danced to wonderful music, sat in the theatre room to watch the slide show, and indulged in the delectable food. The night was beautiful and an unforgettable tribute to two people who deserve the best!

The next day, on Sunday, May 2, 2010, LolaRuns met her girl friends Miss T and Miss A at the Newseum on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, DC at 1pm. For the next four hours, LolaRuns and her friends walked through the Berlin Wall exhibit, the Elvis exhibit, the September 11 exhibit, the Pulitzer prize photos exhibit, and the newsroom exhibit. LolaRuns enjoyed them all and had such an emotional reaction to the Pulitzer prize photos exhibit because of the extreme severity of the events captured through the photo lens. There were pictures that LolaRuns had seen before and some that were new to her but each photo made LolaRuns sad for the tragic people and events across the world. LolaRuns cried at the Pulitzer Prize photos exhibit because of the lives lost and the poor circumstances in other countries because of political unrest, hunger, natural disasters, war, and terrorist events.

The Newseum was not all tears though! LolaRuns also had a fun time with her girl friends in the newsroom where each was video taped and read from a teleprompter to report the news. Miss A chose the Cherry Blossom backdrop and reported on the history of the cherry blossoms. Miss T chose the weather backdrop and reported on the weather and global warming. LolaRuns chose the White House and reported on President Barack Obama’s approval rating. The girls had such a wonderful time reporting individually that Miss T thought of the great idea to report together simultaneously – on the Elin and Tiger Woods divorce! For twenty five seconds, LolaRuns played the part of the moderator while Miss A played the role of the marital expert with Miss T as a Washington, DC attorney. Caught on camera with semi impromptu responses, LolaRuns knows that the video will forever be a memory keepsake of the fun Sunday afternoon.

Afterward, LolaRuns and friends walked two blocks to Hotel Monaco to dine at Poste Moderne Brasserie. Seated in the atrium, the girls enjoyed red wine and four tasty cheeses before diving into an assortment of grilled goat and asparagus polenta with morels, halibut and vegetables, and truffle frites and mussels. The early dinner at Poste and intimate chatter topped off a memorable afternoon at the Newseum.

So what of BoyGenius? Had he disappeared from LolaRuns’s heart and mind? Truthfully, despite the break up, LolaRuns thinks of BoyGenius every day. BoyGenius continues to text sporadically through out the day and the week but even without the texting, BoyGenius is not far from LolaRuns’s mind and heart.

BoyGenius’s texts since the break up on April 20, 2010, have been bittersweet. Some are wonderfully poignant and heart breaking while others are filled with anger and frustration. All of the texts make LolaRuns sad. But true to her word and her attempt to have a clean break, LolaRuns reads but never responds. Why? LolaRuns does not want to be drawn back into a dialogue with BoyGenius and because LolaRuns has said everything that is to be said.

However, during the wee hours of Sunday morning, while LolaRuns was driving back to the Marwood estate to return a cell phone that the valet person had left in her car, she responded to BoyGenius’s texts regarding his house key. During the course of the texts, BoyGenius communicated that he had not spoken to another live human being all week. [Earlier in the day on Saturday at 1:15 pm, BoyGenius had even dropped by LolaRuns’s residence after texting to say that he would drop off the Spock graphic novel that he gifted LolaRuns while they were dating. But not only was LolaRuns groggy, slightly sick, and tired from Friday night, she concluded that seeing BoyGenius while she was vulnerable was not a good idea. So LolaRuns stayed in bed with her book and did not get up to let BoyGenius into her home.] The news that BoyGenius had not spoken to another human being in a week did make LolaRuns worried and she decided that it was time to call BoyGenius . [By the way, LolaRuns loves the Bluetooth technology in her BMW 335ix – it is fabulous – and it is the only reason that LolaRuns would drive and talk. Otherwise, LolaRuns wouldn’t be able to shift gears and focus on the road.]

Since LolaRuns did not want to encourage more discussion, LolaRuns did not respond fully to any of the questions that BoyGenius asked. How did LolaRuns’s Mom take the news of the breakup? Why wouldn’t LolaRuns give BoyGenius a chance when BoyGenius gave LolaRuns two chances to work on her issues? Does LolaRuns miss BoyGenius? Has LolaRuns really made up her mind? Does LolaRuns want to hear about the MRI results on Tuesday? Will LolaRuns share her MRI results with BoyGenius once she gets her MRI?

LolaRuns answered as concisely as she could and BoyGenius, who is after all, quite intelligent, took the hint. After five minutes, he said good bye and good luck to LolaRuns.

LolaRuns has not received a single text today from BoyGenius. LolaRuns is sad because she will likely not hear from BoyGenius again. Thirteen days after it ended, she wonders sometimes if the breakup was all a mistake.

Monday, April 26, 2010

LolaRuns and the "Newton Running: A Love Story" blog

In the wee hours of April 20, 2010, after a lengthy and emotional telephone conversation, LolaRuns and BoyGenius gave up.

Approximately ten hours later, at noon, LolaRuns received an email from BoyGenius that began with:

“Well, I couldn’t write something this sad and poetic if I tried. Was poking around the Newton web site this morning and guess what I came across? An excerpt about us posted on the Newton running BLOG! With links to your “secret” BLOG, meaning that since last November, your BLOG was probably read by a decent amount of people. You can check it out at the link that I have provided below. Of course when I clicked the link to see if it really went to your blog, I found out that you have deleted your blog, I am assuming since I found it last week…”

LolaRuns agrees that it was indeed sad and poetic for BoyGenius to stumble upon the Newton Running blog, on the day of the breakup.

The Newton blog entry, titled “Newton Running: A Love Story”, begins with:

"We stumbled upon this fun story of a budding (?) relationship from blogger Lola Runs, who is chronicling her adventures in the world of online dating on her blog. LolaRuns’s second date with ‘BoyGenius’ turns into a discussion of natural running form and Newton Running shoes. Will true love ensue?"

And how does the Newton blog entry end?

"Read the rest of LolaRuns’s post here. I don’t know about you, but I’m sure rooting for BoyGenius!"

LolaRuns was rooting for BoyGenius too and is still heartbroken that it is over. But as Charlotte York says:

"Everything happens for a reason. Even if you don't know what it is yet."

Amen to that.

LolaRuns and how the blog came down

When LolaRuns and BoyGenius agreed to date exclusively, did LolaRuns come clean to BoyGenius and reveal her online dating blog?

No dear readers – she did not. LolaRuns made the executive decision to keep that part of LolaRuns’ life private. Afterall, LolaRuns was convinced that her readership was limited to her sister Miss E and her male confidantes Mr. M, Mr. C, and Mr. J.

But in the last month of LolaRuns’ relationship with BoyGenius, the subject of blogging came up in conversation and LolaRuns decided to share the subject of her blog. BoyGenius mentioned that he too kept up a blog but the subject matter happened to be common day observations. LolaRuns did not feel particularly curious about BoyGenius’ blog and did not bother to ask for the web address. BoyGenius had the opposite reaction about LolaRuns’ blog and wanted to read it. For reasons unknown to her, the idea of BoyGenius reading her thoughts about other suitors did not sit well with her so LolaRuns compromised. She excerpted the two entries about BoyGenius, substituted the first person for every instance of “LolaRuns” and emailed it off to her sweetheart.

The reaction that LolaRuns received from BoyGenius was not what she expected. Initially, BoyGenius expressed appreciation that the excerpts were shared and remarked at the sweet nature of the entries. The appreciation turned quickly into suspicion – why did LolaRuns not want to share the entire blog with BoyGenius? Was LolaRuns trying to hide something from BoyGenius? No, nothing to hide LolaRuns replied! LolaRuns just wasn’t ready to share that part of her self and her dating strategy. But it’s a blog and by that very nature – other people – strangers are reading it and I can’t ?!- BoyGenius fumed.

The next day, when LolaRuns left for work, BoyGenius did a handful of searches and promptly texted LolaRuns. His text, “You are LolaRuns. I found your blog but I didn’t read any of it – just the two BoyGenius entries to see if you had changed them”, made LolaRuns panic. Then BoyGenius responded with the link to his own blog.

LolaRuns quickly went to her blog site and deleted all of her precious entries (which were conveniently and already backed up). But she wondered if BoyGenius read her blog. Wouldn’t anyone read the entries after going through the trouble and hassle of finding a blog? But BoyGenius responded that he thought of it as a puzzle challenge and that had he not informed LolaRuns that he found her blog, she never would have known. How true LolaRuns thought. But the fact that BoyGenius searched and found the blog even though LolaRuns made it clear that she did not want to share the blog irked her.

LolaRuns and BoyGenius never really worked through the blog issues – in particular LolaRuns’ unwillingness to share and BoyGenius’ suspicion and disregard for LolaRuns’ privacy.

Ultimately, LolaRuns concluded it was not worth ruining a weekend nor was it a reason to end a relationship.

LolaRuns returns from blog hiatus when two hearts get broken

On November 28, 2009, LolaRuns and BoyGenius decided to take a leap. We leapt into a relationship – head on – without helmets.

BoyGenius had been married for two years and divorced for six. In between college and marriage and post divorce, he had done his fair share of dating. BoyGenius was a dating Subject Matter Expert and brought to the relationship all of the lessons learned.

Unfortunately, LolaRuns was not so well equipped. She had a significant relationship with her high school/college sweetheart and a hot relationship with a secret paramour that spanned close to two years. Because of her relationship inexperience, LolaRuns vowed to open her mind and her heart to new experiences with BoyGenius.

In the beginning, BoyGenius was fantastically optimistic. He introduced LolaRuns to his parents within two weeks of their relationship and talked a lot about marriage. LolaRuns was overwhelmed – things were moving fast and she was busy learning, adapting and making changes.

So what happened?

After just four months and three weeks, LolaRuns realized that she wasn’t truly happy. The relationship with BoyGenius ended just yesterday on April 20, 2010.

LolaRuns wishes that she continued to blog or at least kept a private journal while she was with BoyGenius. But in between working, trying to return to running, spending time with BoyGenius, and just plain living, LolaRuns wasn’t able to sit down and capture the nuances of the relationship in a blog or other format.

If LolaRuns did, maybe she would be able to articulate better the things that slowly began to shake her faith in the relationship, BoyGenius, and their shared life.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

LolaRuns goes to Thai Basil with BoyGenius

One day after LolaRuns’ first date with BoyGenius, BoyGenius text LolaRuns to request a second date. A second date would be lovely LolaRuns responded.

Throughout the week, leading up to the date schedule for Friday, November 13, BoyGenius and LolaRuns text about BoyGenius's running program and Newton running shoes. Please recall that LolaRuns hasn't been running because of a pounding ache in her lower back when she attempts to run. When LolaRuns shared this information with BoyGenius during the first date, he immediately peppered her with questions and concluded that it was her running form that was producing the back problems.

Him: "What is your running style? How do you land? Are you a heel striker?"

Me: "I tend to lean back and strike with my heel."

Him: "It's your running form. You need Newton running shoes. They have a patented technology with exposed grooves that encoourages mid to forefront running. Let's walk over to the Potomac Running store and I will show the shoes to you. You have to strike with your midfoot or forefoot if you want to run healthily."

This is where cute BoyGenius even demonstrated the proper running form while walking on Market Street. LolaRuns was a bit smitten at that point.

The texts during the week followed the same vein with questions about LolaRuns workout - the stairclimber for an hour for the past two months - and the new Newton training shoes that would be available in the next month. BoyGenius also encouraged LolaRuns to check out the Newton web site and watch all the videos - which LolaRuns promptly and attentively reviewed. LolaRuns was sold on the Newtons - and quite possibly on BoyGenius.

Friday evening came and because LolaRuns was so smitten, she agreed to let BoyGenius pick her up at her house! BoyGenius arrived promptly at 7:30pm and when he walked into her home, he looked so cute that LolaRuns wanted to be close to him immediately. But she held herself back and promptly gave him the requested tour of her home.

After the tour, LolaRuns and BoyGenius made their way to Thai Basil. Located down the street off of Route 50 in a strip mall that LolaRuns has often seen from her car but never visited, Thai Basil is known for its chef who challenged the Iron Chef on television and beat him. Her pad thai noodle signature dish was renowned because of the competition.

BoyGenius and LolaRuns settled in for a delicious meal. Starting with puff pastries filled with vegetables, BoyGenius and LolaRuns also shared the drunken noodles with tofu, the pad thai with tofu, and the mango with sticky rice. BoyGenius and LolaRuns served each other mounds of food and enjoyed good conversation. LolaRuns will admit that she was still incredibly nervous - too nervous to even eat but she did her best. During the course of dinner, BoyGenius suggested seeing the movie "Scrooge" at the Imax theatre at the Udvar Hazy Museum. LolaRuns readily accepted and off they went.

In the car, BoyGenius played Lily Allen and sang along to a very cute girly song. LolaRuns wasn't sure if she liked that. Once at the museum, BoyGenius and LolaRuns discovered that the movie theatre wasn't open and on their way out of the museum, both enjoyed a good laugh when they noticed that the gates were shut and they were locked in. But thanks to BoyGenius who ventured up to the automated box, the gates were automatically opened.

BoyGenius and LolaRuns decided to travel to Blockbuster in LolaRuns' neighborhood to rent a movie to watch on LolaRuns' projector in her basement. Once home, with a glass each of red wine in hand, LolaRuns and BoyGenius settled in for a horror movie. Was the movie watched? Of course not! As soon as LolaRuns sat down next to BoyGenius, he smothered her with passionate kisses and she responded in like manner.

For the duration of the movie, BoyGenius and LolaRuns made out like adolescents. He couldn't believe that she had winked at him on Match and she couldn't believe that he would want to be involved with someone who was so obviously not his intellectual equal.

Close to midnight, BoyGenius mentioned that he had to get home to Rocky. With a hug and kiss, BoyGenius went on his way.

LolaRuns gets Starbucks with ConsultantDude

After the date with BoyGenius that made her tongue tied and weak in the knees, LolaRuns met with ConsultantDude the next day on Sunday, November 8, 2009.

Unlike BoyGenius, ConsultantDude had no effect on LolaRuns. She wasn't intimidated, overwhelmed, or weak in the knees. LolaRuns knew that she was chatting with her intellectual equal.

LolaRuns met with ConsultantDude at the same Starbucks in Reston Town Center at 11am. To make things more comical, the Starbucks employee that served LolaRuns her coffee the day before with BoyGenius recognized LolaRuns because LolaRuns decided to wear the same outfit.

LolaRuns and ConsultantDude took a seat outside near the fountains across from the ice skating rink with coffees in hand and indulged in a leisurely conversation about the usual - careers, education, family, and interests over the course of two hours.

It turns out that ConsultantDude works for PRTM - a boutique consulting firm that LolaRuns is quite familiar with because of the project that she manages. ConsultantDude speaks Spanish fluently and was a former Navy officer with a consulting position first at Deloitte and then at PRTM. He owns his own 100 year old row house in DC that ConsultantDude is currently remodeling on his own. ConsultantDude is also active in community projects and described in great detail a piece of land located behind his property that used to be a veritable junk yard and meeting place for drug dealers. By joining a community board of directors, ConsultantDude helped raise money and contributed a great deal of time, energy, and materials to transforming the land behind his property into a pleasant park with benches, gardens, and inviting paths. LolaRuns was quite impressed with ConsultantDude's enthusiasm and commitment for his neighborhood and his ability to repair and remodel his own home.

From a physical perspective, ConsultantDude is definitely attractive. At 6'2 with blonde hair and bright blue eyes, an inviting smile, and a physically fit build, ConsultantDude has good looks to balance out his intellect.

Was LolaRuns attracted to ConsultantDude physically and mentally? Sure. But did he make her nervous? Not so much. LolaRuns couldn't help but compare ConsultantDude to her good friend Miss T. The similarities in personality, career, linguistic abilities were so similar in fact that LolaRuns told Miss T about ConsultantDude and encouraged Miss T to wink at him later that Sunday evening.

By the end of the date, ConsultantDude and LolaRuns sat side by side on a bench at the ice skating rink discussing lifestyles, children, and nannies - topics that ConsultantDude raised on his own. It was apparent that ConsultantDude wants a family, daughters preferably, and looked forward to being a father.

ConsultantDude walked with LolaRuns down Market Street and at the corner where a Thai restaurant sits, ConsultantDude gave LolaRuns a hearty hug and made sure that her phone number was in his phone. With a smile and wave, LolaRuns headed off.

LolaRuns gets Starbucks with BoyGenius

On Saturday, November 7, 2009, LolaRuns met with someone that she'll call BoyGenius. Why the moniker?

BoyGenius has quite an impressive profile that caught LolaRuns eye. So much in fact that after she read it, she decided immediately to wink at him. LolaRuns liked BoyGenius's profile because it was well written and focused on all of BoyGenius's accomplishments - like the fact that he held two technical patents, is an accomplished painter, an unpublished science fiction writer, and in executive management at a well known think tank - Mitre.

BoyGenius and LolaRuns corresponded via Match email before the Saturday date and LolaRuns knew already that she was communicating with someone who is well read, articulate, with a higher than average intelligence quotient. Brainy men turn LolaRuns on so she was very excited when she approached the Starbucks at Reston Town Center next to Morton's.

Seated outside in a casual black jacket, sporty black shades, a pair of nice jeans, stylish black loafers, and a grey v-neck sweater with a white tee shirt underneath - was BoyGenius. He jumped up when he saw LolaRuns, made eye contact and smiled. BoyGenius whipped off his sunglasses, gave LolaRuns a brief hug, and together excitedly walked inside where both ordered coffees.

Because there was a dog adoption event on Market Street at Reston Town Center and because it was a beautiful morning with temperatures in the upper 50s, LolaRuns and BoyGenius agreed to walk through the event, pet dogs, and chat. LolaRuns noticed that BoyGenius was very talkative and liked to think outloud. He was gregarious in a very approachable manner and spoke to most people and their pets. After ten minutes of wandering through the festival, LolaRuns and BoyGenius agreed to sit in the lobby of the Hyatt and chat over coffee.

Inside the Hyatt, at a sofa against the wall, BoyGenius sat very close to LolaRuns and off we went on a conversation that would take us through an impromptu lunch at Big Bowl and a visit to the Apple store.

LolaRuns learned a great deal about BoyGenius during the date that started at 11am and lasted until 2:30pm. She learned that BoyGenius was an honors graduate of the University of Virginia with a double major in English and Psychology. With a high IQ, BoyGenius excelled in his corporate career but loved to paint and write science fiction. At the restaurant, LolaRuns learned that BoyGenius recently decided to become a vegan because of stomach problems and because of his desire to lose weight. In fact, BoyGenius had lost 60 pounds recently and had taken up running and quit smoking to get in shape. BoyGenius had been married for two years and divorced for six years. BoyGenius lives in a large 5000 square foot home in Ashburn with Rocky his rescue dog and aspired to become a full time writer and painter one day. BoyGenius is an only child with elderly parents in their seventies who live in Newport News. They are the only reason BoyGenius hasn't relocated outside of the metropolitan area.

LolaRuns will be honest. She was tongue tied through most of the date because she was intimidated and a bit overwhelmed by BoyGenius's intelligence. His talents and intelligence made LolaRuns feel wholly inadequate and she did not think she stood a chance. When BoyGenius pulled up pictures of his paintings on his blackberry at the Hyatt, LolaRuns was quite impressed with his talent. When BoyGenius described a part of his science fiction novel to LolaRuns, she became quite turned on by the fact that BoyGenius is truly a creative and original thinker with an imagination and a propensity to learn numerous things and apply them simultaneously.

At the end of the date, when BoyGenius asked LolaRuns if she would like to accompany him into JCrew for khaki pants, LolaRuns was mentally exhausted in trying to keep up. With a half hearted hug, she parted ways with BoyGenius, doubtful that he really would contact her again.